White Lies?

Making and reporting the news first!

White Phosphorous. WP proved to be an effective and versatile munition. We used it for screening missions at two breeches and, later in the fight, as a potent psychological weapon against the insurgents in trench lines and spider holes when we could not get effects on them with HE. We fired "shake and bake" missions at the insurgents, using WP to flush them out and HE to take them out.

Field Artillery | TF 2-2 IN FSE AAR: Indirect Fires in the Battle of Fallujah

Remember, the HE (High Explosive) referred to includes bunker busters. But that's beside the point right now. The mainstream media are eventually dragging themselves off their butts to report—not from the front line of Falluja a year ago, but from their armchairs after a screening of an Italian public-broadcaster TV documentary, Fallujah: The Hidden Massacre—the indiscriminate use of napalm and white phosphorus [alt: phosphorous] by U.S. troops. Trapped like rats in a trap, fighters and civilians who chose to remain in Falluja last November—or were forced by their executioners to await their slaughter—stood no chance against the most horrendous chemical weapons known to man.

So vile are these instruments of mass destruction, they are banned worldwide—the United States excepted, of course. I suppose the U.S. could argue the peace-keeping nature of its forces in Iraq, but that—like MK 77 Mod 5 and white phosphorous ("shake and bake" or Willy Pete—though Jeff Englehart clearly says 'Whisky Pete' in the documentary)—won't wash.


Still smelling good in the morning...

And so tell me... a year and a week after the immolation of Falluja, and only after an Italian film crew has cobbled together a documentary from material freely available on the Web, why is it the British media that, once again, 'break' the story? As is the case in so many instances throughout history, where are the Americans (bearing in mind an American DoD publication published the full story in April, 2005)? And what is this bullshit of napalm (MK 77's Orwellian incarnation) being used only in Falluja? Photographs of bodies burnt to the bone by white phosphorous and napalm have been on the Web since the illegal 2003 invasion of Iraq, a country roasted or blown apart by every conceivable type of ordinance or munition for more than a decade in an internationally condoned turkey shoot. Why has there been no outcry to now?

By way of explanation, let's look at how the NY 911 WTC implosions are only now starting to surface or make the rounds as common knowledge. Looking at Professor Jones's unedited 'paper' and his field of research (don't they teach these academics to write?), I'm boggled at his reliance on, again, freely available and much-viewed Web material. Nevertheless, and despite the books, lectures, and analysis done by the likes of David Ray Griffin and Paul Thompson, the patently obvious case for an 'inside job' is only now gaining currency. Are people dumb or what?

Nope. They're compliant and complicit.

Few Iraqis ever doubted the American use of chemical weapons in Falloojeh. We’ve been hearing the terrifying stories of people burnt to the bone for well over a year now. I just didn’t want it confirmed.

River | Baghdad Burning

Closer

"You have become a ghost."

And so it is | Just like you said it would be | Life goes easy on me | Most of the time | And so it is | The shorter story | No love, no glory | No hero in her sky...

So what have Emma Brockes, cute hats, David Thomson, trunks full of hatred, Dylan, Salman Rushdie, John McGahern, Marlon Brando, sex and the china girl, Jane Fonda, Melissa Bank and Bruce Springsteen in common with fast-segueing-yet-lazy moods, children, Sam the Sham, atmospheric gardens, the Groningen University, Branwell Brontë, Drew Stephens, the Native American Church and an obsessive, slipper-wearing Frenchman?

And what part does RageBoy play in all this?

Despite my training, I don't have a clue but, had I, as a serving general in our own Fay Weldon's army, as a peyote-munching officer and gentleman, and as a devoted listener to Van Morrison and Pink Floyd, I would not be at liberty to enlighten you. Instead, I urge you to take a ride on the latest trottoir roulant rapide of our blogging novelist, Madame Levy. Everything else drops away...


"I've got a fish cooking in the oven."

So what's a poor boy to do now? ... He can start a blog, perhaps. As the mainstream media, especially in the US, have become part of the same corporate entertainment empires that own most popular music, there is little or no room for a new Edward Murrow to stick his knife into the powers that be. But the blogosphere is buzzing with life. Subversion of all kinds, much of it mad and malicious, has been privatised, as it were. If hip-hop and rap fill large niche markets, internet journalism fills millions of niches, some of them no bigger than the author him or herself. Quite how this will translate into the words and music of a new culture of protest no one really knows.

Ian Buruma | Silent protest

And so it is | Just like you said it should be | We'll both forget the breeze | Most of the time | And so it is | The colder water | The blower's daughter | The pupil in denial...

Damien Rice | The Blower's Daughter

Rage, rage...

RB persuades Kevin Marks to become a Jehovah's Witness—for the hell of it

As Frank Paynter points out, some days demand commemoration. Why? Because they are special, more special than other days. Today is such a day. It is RageBoy's birthday.

"RageBoy's birthday? You're kidding me."

"No. I'm not. It is his birthday. November 12."

"That's not the point. I mean, so fucking what? What's so special about the old fart's birthday?"

Ho hum. I get this sort of thing the whole time. First, people's clueless opining on the Eternal Mystery of Father Christopher, RageBoy, and the Boulder New Age mystic, Chris Locke. Secondly, their inability to grasp the import of what each contributes to the whole.

"Look at it this way," I tell them. "On November 11, the Great War, that which was the war to end all wars, ended. On November 12, RageBoy was born."

It gets them every time. Why? Because it's true. If ever they needed a sign... well, Synchronicity City is full of them and some of us, being good Catholics, professionals and hard men to boot, take these things seriously. Fuck Tim LaHaye. He knows nothing.

Anyway, today—as we celebrate the birth of Rage—we pay no heed to our detractors. We know who RageBoy is and such knowledge suffices. This is the man who set fire to Michael Jackson's hair. It was he who put sugar into Evel Knievel's tank. It was RageBoy who tipped the cops off about the break in at the Watergate and it was the commander of the EGR Irregulars that sent Bush the pretzels, the bike and the Segway.

RB is, indeed, the stuff of legend. Some—and I suspect David Icke has a hand in this—say it was RageBoy who, miffed at being dumped, strolled across the roadway as Princess Diana's car entered the Paris tunnel, but most of us refuse to lend credence to such drivel. Serious admirers of RageBoy's work are far more interested in researching, from deep inside the Jesus Bunker outside Boulder, his role in razing the White House, and documenting his subsequent attempts to firebomb Oprah and Dr. Phil.

Kevin Marks and his JW minder stopped by at my house the other night to offload some tracts. After reminding them of my Catholicism, beating Kevin about the head, and setting fire to his handler's car, I offered them some tea and invited them in. I wanted to ask Kevin about his conversion.

"So why did you swallow this bullshit? We know these hosers aren't included in the 144,000."

"Well, RageBoy thought it was a good idea. He said it was important that I join."

"And that was good enough for you?"

"Sure."

"What about the virgins?"

"I got him up to 73."

"Good man."

There you go, then. On November 11, people around the world celebrate the end of war. On November 12, RageBoy snatches them from orbit and brings them back to Earth with a bang. And that makes him kind of special. In a special kind of way.

Well, I ain't got my childhood | Or friends I once did know. | No, I ain't got my childhood | Or friends I once did know. | But I still got my voice left, | I can take it anywhere I go. | Hey, hey, so I guess I'm doin' fine.

Bob Dylan | Guess I'm Doin' Fine

South Africans at Play

The movies

The iPod

Racist?

I dunno. I don't view them as such, but I'm open to others' views. I guess it depends where you're coming from. And I think I ask the question because I know most of the people originating them are white, lending these graphics—ten years after apartheid, a sense of 'I don't really know you, but...'. For my part, and it's a good feeling, I see us.

They do the rounds on local networks, popping up on spam filters and end-user machines at work. The people receiving and downloading them are from every age group, culture, race, creed, etc. you can imagine.

And they gleefully pass them on.

However one views them, they're essentially South African and, if they say anything, it's that we're learning to laugh at ourselves.

I mean, really, where else...?


The Sunday afternoon drive

Note: I picked up a comment on HaloScan's comment management page from Rethabile. It's not showing below, so here it is:

I don't think I would consider their "exploitation" racist. The racism kicks in when the one looking at them utters a colour-based slur.

I want to say that the guy with the gumba-gumba is a scream, and a nice reminder of the African's love for music. But is he a scream or rather a pathetic sight, and a bad reminder of how far ZA still is from equality?

Perhaps it would be racist if other South African "colours" did not get funny photos about them circulated on the web. Then it would indeed send some sick message about Blacks.

And what happened to that girl's bloomers?

Bloomers? Where the hell have you been these past fifteen years, Rethabile? Don't tell me you've yet to come across the "thong'? In France?

Qualifying Rethabile's opinion and call for balance is this post from early in August, pointing to a remarkable, but saddening, story by David Sylvester, the most poignant sentence of which reads, "The bottom line is this; I rode over 12000 miles on 2 continents through 15 states and 13 countries and broke 2 bikes in the process to get to a store in AFRICA called niggers."

American History XXX

"The destruction of Falluja was an act of barbarism that ranks alongside My Lai, Guernica and Halabja."

Guardian | A name that lives in infamy

[Narrator] "Falluja is the heart of the 'Sunni Triangle', the area most hostile to U.S. occupation. A crossroads between Baghdad and Jordan, it was the City of Mosques and Sights. The destruction detailed in a report for the U.N.'s office in Iraq, the UNAMI, dated January 2005, which was for a time kept secret, is described as 'shocking'. Around 37,000 houses are destroyed. The Americans mark, with a red cross, 'cleaned out' or 'disinfected' houses as they write in their reports. As for the official death toll, there is still no figure. 'I can honestly say that I am not aware of any civilian casualties,' said U.S. general John Sattler on the 18th of November. These images, shot on the days following the attack, seem to disprove his theory."

[...]

[Narrator] "Dr. Mohammed Hadeed [?] and his team were given U.S. authorization to enter Falluja with the unenviable task of identifying and burying the dead. The bodies of the civilian casualties of women still clutching the mesbaha, the Islamic rosary [sic]... the bodies showing strange injuries; some burnt to the bone, others with skin hanging from their flesh. There is no sign of bullet wounds. The faces have literally melted away, just like other parts of the body. The clothes are strangely intact, and so it is easier to distinguish the 'insurgents', who were wearing bulletproof jackets, from combatants and civilians. Some animals are also dead, without any apparent injury."

[...]

[Narrator] "Jeff Englehart, you took part in the attack in November 2004, the most dramatic one. Were any chemical weapons used in Falluja?"

[Jeff Englehart] "From the U.S. military? Um, yuh, absolutely. Uh, white phosphorous. Uh, possibly napalm. It may or may not have been used. I do know that white phosphorous was used, which is definitely—without a shadow of a doubt—a chemical weapon."

[Narrator—voiceover] "Is he sure of it?"

[Jeff Englehart] "Yes. It happened."

[Narrator—voiceover] "How can he be certain?"

[Jeff Englehart] "Well, er, it comes across the radio as a general transmission. When it happens lie that, you hear it on the radio through... we have speakers in our trucks. And the speakers and the... the transmission goes through the speakers, so it's audible. And, um, as... as they say, um, 'In five Mikes we're gonna drop some Whisky Pete. Roger. Ten...' Y'know? 'Commence bombing.' I mean, it was... it just comes across the radio and, like, when you hear 'Whisky Pete', that's the military slang."

[Narrator—voiceover] "Contrary to what was said by the U.S. State Department, white phosphorous was not used in the open field to illuminate enemy troops. For this, tracer was used. The rain of fire shot from U.S. helicopters on the city of Falluja on the night of the eighth of November. We will show you in this exceptional documentary, which proves that a chemical agent was used in a massive and indiscriminate way in districts of Falluja. In the days that followed, U.S. satellite images showed Falluja burnt out and razed to the ground (sic)."

[Jeff Englehart] "The gasses from the warhead... the white phosphorous, will disperse in a cloud. And when it makes contact with skin, it's absolutely irreversible damage, burning flesh to the bone. Um, it doesn't necessarily burn clothes, but it'll burn the skin underneath clothes. And this is why protective masks do not help, because it'll burn right through the mask, the rubber of the mask. It'll... it will manage to get inside your face. If you breathe it, it will blister your throat and your lungs until you suffocate, and then it'll... it will burn you from the inside. Um, it basically reacts to skin, oxygen and water. The only way to stop the burning is with wet mud but, at that point, you're... it's... just impossible to stop."

[Narrator] "Have you seen the effects of these weapons?"

[Jeff Englehart] "Yes. Burned... burned bodies. I mean... it burned children and it burned women and it... white phosphorous kills indiscriminately. It's a cloud that will... will in, most cases, two... 150 meters of impact will... will disperse and it will burn every, every human being or animal."

From: Fallujah: The Hidden Massacre



Of course, the U.S. military denies using 'napalm' in Falluja. And it denies using 'white phosphorous' bombs [called "shake and bake" by the troops firing them into the city] against civilians. Remember, Falluja was officially 'cleared' of civilians before the November massacre. However, the same U.S. military does not deny using MK 77 firebombs to obliterate the city and its people. Perhaps they were the result of this U.S. Army Field Support Command procurement notice, amended in June 2004. It seems branding is everything. The evolution of good ol' napalm into the MK 77 firebomb, which has been—since Day 1—and is still being used Vietnam-style throughout Iraq, is documented on the GlobalSecurity site.

Remember, and to paraphrase the military, a firebomb is a thin-skinned container of fuel gel designed for use against dug-in troops. It's similar in size and appearance to earlier napalm canisters, and is loaded with 44 pounds of polystyrene-like gelling compound and 63 gallons of jet fuel. Firebombs can be carried by F/A-18 Hornet attack jets or AV-8 Harrier jump jets and, without fins, the blunt-nosed bombs tumble when dropped, increasing the spread of the flammable gel when the 510-pound canisters hit the ground.

During the war, Pentagon spokesmen disputed reports that napalm was being used, saying the Pentagon's stockpile had been destroyed two years ago. Apparently the spokesmen were drawing a distinction between the terms "firebomb" and "napalm." If reporters had asked about firebombs, officials said yesterday they would have confirmed their use.

What the Marines dropped, the spokesmen said yesterday, were "Mark 77 firebombs." They acknowledged those are incendiary devices with a function "remarkably similar" to napalm weapons.

Rather than using gasoline and benzene as the fuel, the firebombs use kerosene-based jet fuel, which has a smaller concentration of benzene. Hundreds of partially loaded Mark 77 firebombs were stored on pre-positioned ammunition ships overseas, Marine Corps officials said. Those ships were unloaded in Kuwait during the weeks preceding the war.

"You can call it something other than napalm, but it's napalm," said John Pike, defense analyst with GlobalSecurity.org, a nonpartisan research group in Alexandria, Va. Although many human rights groups consider incendiary bombs to be inhumane, international law does not prohibit their use against military forces. The United States has not agreed to a ban against possible civilian targets.

"Incendiaries create burns that are difficult to treat," said Robert Musil, executive director of Physicians for Social Responsibility, a Washington group that opposes the use of weapons of mass destruction. Musil described the Pentagon's distinction between napalm and Mark 77 firebombs as "pretty outrageous."

"That's clearly Orwellian," he added.

Welcome to Iraq, the world, and the American way, Bubba.

See also: Iraqanalysis.org | Fire Bombs in Iraq: Napalm By Any Other Name

Falluja, November 8-9, 2004

Falluja, November 8-9, 2004

In a documentary, "Fallujah: The Hidden Massacre" [wmv and rm, approx 40MB] broadcast by RAI, the Italian state broadcaster, this morning, a former American soldier who fought at Fallujah says: "I heard the order to pay attention because they were going to use white phosphorus on Fallujah. In military jargon, it's known as Whisky Pete.

"Phosphorus burns bodies. In fact it melts the flesh all the way down to the bone ... I saw the burned bodies of women and children. Phosphorus explodes and forms a cloud. Anyone within a radius of 150 metres is done for."

The Independent | US forces 'used chemical weapons' during assault on city of Fallujah

How much do I know | To talk out of turn | You might say that I'm young | You might say I'm unlearned | But there's one thing I know | Though I'm younger than you | Even Jesus would never | Forgive what you do



Despite persistent rumours of injuries among Iraqis consistent with the use of incendiary weapons such as napalm, Adam Ingram, the Defence minister, assured Labour MPs in January that US forces had not used a new generation of incendiary weapons, codenamed MK77, in Iraq.

But Mr Ingram admitted to the Labour MP Harry Cohen in a private letter obtained by The Independent that he had inadvertently misled Parliament because he had been misinformed by the US. "The US confirmed to my officials that they had not used MK77s in Iraq at any time and this was the basis of my response to you," he told Mr Cohen. "I regret to say that I have since discovered that this is not the case and must now correct the position."

The Independent | US lied to Britain over use of napalm in Iraq war [06/17/05]

Let me ask you one question | Is your money that good | Will it buy you forgiveness | Do you think that it could | I think you will find | When your death takes its toll | All the money you made | Will never buy back your soul



The US also used napalm in the siege of Falluja as was reported in the UK Mirror ["Falluja Napalmed", 11-28-04] The Mirror said, "President George Bush has sanctioned the use of napalm, a deadly cocktail of polystyrene and jet-fuel banned by the United Nations in 1980, will stun the world... [I wouldn't say it's done that, Mike. In fact, most don't really seem to care.] Reports claim that innocent civilians have died in napalm attacks, which turn victims into human fireballs as the gel bonds flames to flesh. Since the American assault on Falluja there have been reports of 'melted' corpses, which appeared to have napalm injuries."

Mike Whitney | Incinerating Iraqis: The Napalm Cover-Up

The reporting of the Iraqi death toll - both in its scale and account of who is doing the killing - is profoundly dishonest. ... We can expect the US and UK governments to seek to minimise the extent of their war crimes. But it's time the media stopped collaborating.

George Monbiot | The media are minimising US and British war crimes in Iraq

And I hope that you die | And your death'll come soon | I will follow your casket | In the pale afternoon | And I'll watch while you're lowered | Down to your deathbed | And I'll stand o'er your grave | 'Til I'm sure that you're dead

Bob Dylan | Masters of War

Big Sky Country...

The Kgalagadi... 

Let's just see how it goes...

Hello, that is.

Okay, it worked—after messing about with it for around half-an-hour and several missends. The interface needs some work but, for all that, it's great. What really gets me about this nifty little tool is that, if you click the graphic, you 'get the full picture', and that's always a damned side more impressive than a thumbnail.

That's the Kgalagadi Transnational Peace Park up there. It binds South africa, Botswana, and Namibia. And it's larger than Texas.

So, what I've done is send through another photograph for the post below that detailing RageBoy's Fall From Grace, i.e. Fire and Ice. The graphic initially loads as a separate, fresh entry, but you merely hack the code, edit it into the old post, and delete the new entry from Blogger.

The result? A photograph worth enlarging.

Hmm... I'm pretty pleased with this. And for all the server space being offered for nothing, I might even keep the Picasa logo. Hell, who knows? One day I might even start learning HTML or whatever it is you people use on the Internets.

RageBoy® sells out...

No taste (ho ho), no job, no money, no matter. The man certainly has style... RageBoy, suicide bomber to the rich and famous, is many things to many people. He has done just about everything it is possible—and permisible—to do on the Web, and he has kept a straight face throughout.

I dunno, what do you do with someone like this? I'm a Sessum type myself. I support the bugger. Fully. Suicide vests cost money and Teabag is coming. Chew gum, Bubba, or die.

Speaking of gum, did you know....

ElimiTaste SmokeScreen is the first gum designed to reduce the aftertaste from smoking cigarettes and cigars. For years, consumers of tobacco have relied on inferior products that don't specifically address their needs. Those days are now behind us. SmokeScreen is a Sugarfree and Aspartame-Free strong mint gum that is sweetened exclusively with Xylitol. Our proprietary formula helps neutralize the aftertaste from tobacco products and provides long lasting fresh breath.

Now, I did not know that and I would have remained ignorant had RB not decided to chase the filthy lucre. What's more...

ElimiTaste ZAPP! is the first mainstream gum for the breath conscious consumer that is not only Sugarfree, but also Aspartame Free. Also sweetened with Xylitol, ZAPP has quickly become a favorite for trend conscious consumers that are tired of the same old gums on the market.

With multiple brand extension lines in development, you can expect to see more innovative chewing gum lines from our company in the near future.

Now, if that doesn't get you along to RageBoy's site to stock up on gum, nothing will. Support RB today and smell like hell tomorrow. And remember, 10 percent of all online sales go to victims of Hurricane Katrina. Seriously...

Note This public service message was brought to you in the interest of your health. Passive smoking not only kills—it causes millions of unwanted pregnancies each year. If you're male... well, need I say more?

Fire and Ice

A sky of raked coals... 

Some say the world will end in fire; | Some say in ice. | From what I've tasted of desire | I hold with those who favor fire.

A couple of photographs from my Norwegian friend, Amé—who will be blogging as soon as she's au fait with the vagaries of Blogger, Hello and all the other tools on which we rely, leave me in no doubt as to the urgency with which I need to acquire a digital camera. Even a three-megapixel starter job would do the trick.

Photographs she's taken here in South Africa and is now sending from Norway are, to put it simply, mind blowing. Reducing these high-resolution images to fit this blog detracts hugely from their impact, but they're stunning nonetheless.

And they go a long way to explaining how a one-time South African girl who grew up on a wine farm in the Worcester Valley—where temperatures can reach 40 degrees Celsius, can live her adult life in a country where the thermometer plummets to -40 degrees. The shot of the dark, ice-covered spur looming to a sky of raked coals is all about land. And I guess, whether one lives in a Mediterranean climate or up near the Arctic Circle, it's the land that charts the path of our lives. As wild, inhospitable or downright foreboding as this stark mountainscape appears, it shares a vibrant, big-sky quality I find only in the heat-shimmering desert spaces of the South African Kgalagadi [772KB], Karoo [937KB], West Coast [494KB] or Richtersveld [1.15MB].

There's a paradoxical freedom to be found in this immense, virtually lifeless, forever-frozen wilderness. The beauty of its emptiness and its obvious extremes lend enormous meaning to any life inhabiting or appreciating its vast spaces—whether without or within.


A road not taken...

But if it had to perish twice, | I think I know enough of hate | To know that for destruction ice | Is also great | And would suffice.

Robert Frost | Fire and Ice

Note: The South African photographs are courtesy of SANParks, which hosts a large gallery.

An American in Iraq

I read the news today, oh boy | About a lucky man who made the grade | And though the news was rather sad | Well I just had to laugh | I saw the photograph...

Democrats are intensifying efforts to hold President Bush and his fellow Republicans accountable for missteps in the Iraq war, as they seek to exploit a potential GOP vulnerability heading into Congress' midterm election year. Outnumbered on Capitol Hill, Democrats are embracing the little power they have in the GOP-controlled House and Senate by using procedural techniques to highlight Iraq troubles and issue blistering critiques of Bush's war policies.

Okay, it's time to can the pretty pictures. I read the so-called news today. Google's anemic front page negates any benefits I derive from Prozac, so I toddled over to Yahoo! Surely Yahoo! News couldn't be worse than the Googleplex's mechanical mix of inane tropes and grade-school rewrites cobbled together by fuckwit PhDs on drugs?

Oh boy. Was I wrong or what?

Yahoo! sucks big time. And, for bloggers who rely on the likes of the Yahoo! News photo section to enliven their sad hours of blogging, things are even worse. A smaller interface, smaller pics and, even worse, crappy photography. It's just not fair. Photos coming out of Iraq are pathetic. We all know most journos practice hotel journalism in Baghdad, seldom setting foot beyond the concrete barriers surrounding their inky enclave, but this stuff is ridiculous.

I mean, the photograph above, of a bloated American foreign policy hobbling around the desert sands on one leg, looks as though it was taken by a gunnery sergeant in search of his first stiff, early morning drink.

The guy has no head!

He blew his mind out in a car | He didn't notice that the lights had changed | A crowd of people stood and stared | They'd seen his face before | Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords.

"What the Democrats are saying essentially is, enough is enough. It's time to determine the facts and to hold the president accountable for the miscalculations, misjudgments and misrepresentations," said Steve McMahon, a Democratic consultant.

For the rest, mugshots of dead marines and co-opted, soon-to-be-dead turncoat politicians, posed pics of soldiers handing out bread and footballs, or Steve McMahon, a Democratic consultant—whatever the fuck that is, inflicting on us the biggest load of bullshit it's ever been my misfortune to hear.

You really think we believe you, Steve? One glance at Tom Feeley's picture-free news roundup and you get a clearer view of the Iraqi and global situations than any number of Democratic consultants, Yahoo! or Google will ever offer you.

And what's this with the polls? Now that 61 percent of those asked by CBS, "Do you think the result of the war with Iraq was worth the loss of American life and other costs of attacking Iraq, or not?" feel it was "not worth it", are we likely to see a change in policy and action? Now that 52 percent of Americans want to impeach Bush "if he lied about the war in Iraq", are we likely to see an end to the suffering of tens of millions?

Hah! I doubt it. We'll just see crappier journalism. More of the sort that calls a mass grave a misstep.

I saw a film today, oh boy | The English Army had just won the war | A crowd of people turned away | But I just had to look | Having read the book | I'd love to turn you on.

Beatles | A Day in the Life

Truth in Advertising?

Woke up, fell out of bed | Dragged a comb across my head | Found my way downstairs and drank a cup | And looking up, I noticed I was late | Found my coat and grabbed my hat | Made the bus in seconds flat | Found my way upstairs and had a smoke | And somebody spoke and I went into a dream.

While I'm throwing my toys out of the cot, how about this one? It's something one stumbles across on the Web quite frequently, a wonderful juxtaposition of Gonzo-averse advertising and so-called news, and it's never lost on this particular wit. Thank you to all the advertisers who make my news-reading a darkly mirthful experience.

Yup, in the old days—way back in the Middle Ages, they'd daub the equivalent of paint on the doors of those afflicted by plague, leprosy, or the flavor-of-the-month illness of the time. Looks as though we're stuck way back when 'cept, of course, we can now get a Flash bird to peck a corporate logo onto the doors of those suffering avian flu, an irrational fear of which forms the latest in the biological weapons' arsenal of every self-respecting warmonger and pharmaceutical industry carpetbagger.

Remember SARS? Ebola? AIDS?

Chee-rist! When will we ever learn?

Me? I'm going back to laughing at cripples...



I read the news today, oh boy | Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire | And though the holes were rather small | They had to count them all | Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall | I'd love to turn you on.

Beatles | A Day in the Life

Note Please bear in mind I do not hold Google^® or Yahoo!^® responsible for originating the mindless drek with which they festoon their front pages. Nor do I believe Muslim women swear at their husbands. They're not allowed to.

John Lennon did, however, have a bloody good sense of humor.

The Discreet Revenge of Suzie Q

Get it while you can...

It's true. Today, RageBoy. Tomorrow, you. Yes... you too will be reported to SpamCop and blacklisted. You too will be mocked, jeered, tarred, feathered and driven out of town. Yes, your friends will shun you, your family will disown you, and you will die of shame. Teabag Chopra's appetites are insatiable and his methods despicable. He will have you—body, mind, and soul. There is no stopping him. Trust me on this.

To contribute to the Father Christopher Defense and Aid Fund, click here.

I can’t get no satisfaction, | I can’t get no satisfaction. | ’cause I try and I try and I try and I try. | I can’t get no, I can’t get no.

Rolling Stones | Satisfaction

Important Update

For those of you who refuse to take me seriously, how's about this? The likeness is fucking remarkable. Besides, there's more. Keith Richards was born in Dartford in 1943 and Teabag Choprah was born in New Delhi in 1947. Richards lives in the U.K. and Choprah in the States. While you have to pay to see Richards, you can download shit about Choprah for nothing off the Web. But, that small difference aside, both are filthy rich.

QED, as we academics like to say.