I read the news today, oh boy | About a lucky man who made the grade | And though the news was rather sad | Well I just had to laugh | I saw the photograph...
Democrats are intensifying efforts to hold President Bush and his fellow Republicans accountable for missteps in the Iraq war, as they seek to exploit a potential GOP vulnerability heading into Congress' midterm election year. Outnumbered on Capitol Hill, Democrats are embracing the little power they have in the GOP-controlled House and Senate by using procedural techniques to highlight Iraq troubles and issue blistering critiques of Bush's war policies.
Okay, it's time to can the pretty pictures. I read the so-called news today. Google's anemic front page negates any benefits I derive from Prozac, so I toddled over to Yahoo! Surely Yahoo! News couldn't be worse than the Googleplex's mechanical mix of inane tropes and grade-school rewrites cobbled together by fuckwit PhDs on drugs?
Oh boy. Was I wrong or what?
Yahoo! sucks big time. And, for bloggers who rely on the likes of the Yahoo! News photo section to enliven their sad hours of blogging, things are even worse. A smaller interface, smaller pics and, even worse, crappy photography. It's just not fair. Photos coming out of Iraq are pathetic. We all know most journos practice hotel journalism in Baghdad, seldom setting foot beyond the concrete barriers surrounding their inky enclave, but this stuff is ridiculous.
I mean, the photograph above, of a bloated American foreign policy hobbling around the desert sands on one leg, looks as though it was taken by a gunnery sergeant in search of his first stiff, early morning drink.
The guy has no head!
He blew his mind out in a car | He didn't notice that the lights had changed | A crowd of people stood and stared | They'd seen his face before | Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords.
"What the Democrats are saying essentially is, enough is enough. It's time to determine the facts and to hold the president accountable for the miscalculations, misjudgments and misrepresentations," said Steve McMahon, a Democratic consultant.
For the rest, mugshots of dead marines and co-opted, soon-to-be-dead turncoat politicians, posed pics of soldiers handing out bread and footballs, or Steve McMahon, a Democratic consultant—whatever the fuck that is, inflicting on us the biggest load of bullshit it's ever been my misfortune to hear.
You really think we believe you, Steve? One glance at Tom Feeley's picture-free news roundup and you get a clearer view of the Iraqi and global situations than any number of Democratic consultants, Yahoo! or Google will ever offer you.
And what's this with the polls? Now that 61 percent of those asked by CBS, "Do you think the result of the war with Iraq was worth the loss of American life and other costs of attacking Iraq, or not?" feel it was "not worth it", are we likely to see a change in policy and action? Now that 52 percent of Americans want to impeach Bush "if he lied about the war in Iraq", are we likely to see an end to the suffering of tens of millions?
Hah! I doubt it. We'll just see crappier journalism. More of the sort that calls a mass grave a misstep.
I saw a film today, oh boy | The English Army had just won the war | A crowd of people turned away | But I just had to look | Having read the book | I'd love to turn you on.
Beatles | A Day in the Life
Truth in Advertising?
Woke up, fell out of bed | Dragged a comb across my head | Found my way downstairs and drank a cup | And looking up, I noticed I was late | Found my coat and grabbed my hat | Made the bus in seconds flat | Found my way upstairs and had a smoke | And somebody spoke and I went into a dream.
While I'm throwing my toys out of the cot, how about this one? It's something one stumbles across on the Web quite frequently, a wonderful juxtaposition of Gonzo-averse advertising and so-called news, and it's never lost on this particular wit. Thank you to all the advertisers who make my news-reading a darkly mirthful experience.
Yup, in the old days—way back in the Middle Ages, they'd daub the equivalent of paint on the doors of those afflicted by plague, leprosy, or the flavor-of-the-month illness of the time. Looks as though we're stuck way back when 'cept, of course, we can now get a Flash bird to peck a corporate logo onto the doors of those suffering avian flu, an irrational fear of which forms the latest in the biological weapons' arsenal of every self-respecting warmonger and pharmaceutical industry carpetbagger.
Remember SARS? Ebola? AIDS?
Chee-rist! When will we ever learn?
Me? I'm going back to laughing at cripples...
I read the news today, oh boy | Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire | And though the holes were rather small | They had to count them all | Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall | I'd love to turn you on.
Beatles | A Day in the Life
Note Please bear in mind I do not hold Google® or Yahoo!® responsible for originating the mindless drek with which they festoon their front pages. Nor do I believe Muslim women swear at their husbands. They're not allowed to.
John Lennon did, however, have a bloody good sense of humor.
