<h3>"Blacks are the Biggest Racists"</h3>

Mama Africa... leading racist commentator

Africans are South Africa’s worst racists — and fellow Africans are their main victims. These are the findings of a nationwide survey conducted by Plus 94 Research, a marketing research company. An affiliate of the Gallup group, it interviewed 2000 people about their experiences at shops, hospitals, transport outlets, municipal offices, financial institutions and other places.

Yeah, well, there you have it. I knew there was something about them I didn't like. They're a bunch of bloody racists. Plus 94 Research tells me so and the Sunday Times, our largest-circulation paper, spells it out. The poll results headlined this past Sunday's edition, which was avidly snapped up by countless millions who've always suspected our black brothers and sisters of having it in for us.

It goes to show. The Nats weren't so bad after all, eh?

Pity about the Indians, Muslims, coloureds and assorted others. The poll tells us they really get stick from our indigenous rednecks.

Some 44% of respondents claimed to have experienced an attitude from Africans they believed bordered on racial discrimination, against 27% who had received similar treatment by whites when seeking out services in public places.

Not only are they racist, they're twice as fucking racist as we are. But this doesn't bother me. I am, after all, a blogger, a professional, and a hard man to boot. I have nothing to fear but blacks with white teeth and big guns. Given this, I decided to tackle the racists head on, and so beat a path to their favoured hangout, Muggers Alley, on Cape Town station's upper deck.

Traveling incognito, I wandered into Mama Africa's cafe and immediately took my racist hostess to task.

"So Mama," I sneered, laying the paper before her. "What's this I read about you people being racist? It's all over the Sunday Times."

Mama Africa, not bothering to look at the article, smiled at me, shrugged her shoulders, and stretched out her upturned palms. She had few customers in her shipping container and was washing a couple of battered dishes in a plastic tub.

"Mike, Mike... I really don't know why they'd disclose this stuff now. It's beyond me." She paused. "It's supposed to be a pan-Africanist secret," she giggled.

"But I thought things were hunky-dory...that we were all starting to get along?"

Her deep brown eyes softened and, taking my hand in hers, she sat me down at an upturned cable drum doing duty as a table.

"Mike, take a long, hard look at your people," she said quietly. "You should be able to discern something from their behaviour."

"Yeah, well," I mumbled, "I know we're pretty dumb, but if it wasn't for us, you people still wouldn't have the wheel. I mean, we've transplanted hearts, put a man on the moon..."

Like a musician — blacks have natural rhythm, she plugged in. "...colonised the world and killed hundreds of millions of people. All for fun and profit. And you're still doing it. I know these things."

She does too. A Rwandan refugee denied South African citizenship these past ten years, she's packed in quite a bit of learning for a single person looking after sixteen orphans. I kid you not; as you know, I'm no bigot and would not resort to stereotyping. Mama Africa has this thing for children, so she looks after them.

No white kids, of course. Being a racist precludes that, I s'pose...

"Well, at least we're polite about it."

"Huh?"

"Colonialism. We call it democracy. It's polite. Unlike you people. You're bloody rude. You talk at the tops of your voices, speak Xhosa or Zulu in front of English speakers, piss and spit in the streets, never say please, push ahead in queues, bum smokes and money without qualms..."

Mama, smiling, held up her hand. "I'm from Rwanda. I wouldn't know about this."

She had a point. "Sorry, Mama, I've never seen you people do things like that. It must be the French influence. We had the Dutch down here."

"The ones who wiped out the Khoi-san?"

"Yeah. That bunch of savages. They were always blind drunk or pilfering cattle."

"The Khoi-san?"

"The Dutch. They hunted the San for sport."

Pleasantries done with, we got to talking about genocide. Hutus hunting down Tutsis and that sort of thing. Next door, the Millennium Barbershop's hairdresser shaved muggers' heads before they set out to beat up on white people.


Racist muggers getting ready to beat up on whites...

Falala said the survey was aimed at measuring overt resentment, where people deliberately treated others in a way that was prejudicial and could be perceived as racism. “What I found most interesting was that black people were the largest group with this problem, both as victims and as perpetrators." ... "This is something that people need to know because it’s a reality for many people when dealing with a security guard or a bank.”

Zamile Mbanjwa, of the University of KwaZulu-Natal, said the findings were consistent with her recent experience at a Ladysmith restaurant. “I wasn’t served because the waiter made it his policy not to serve black people because they don’t tip.”

I told you they were fucking rude.

But anyway, back to business and the source of the article — which you should read; if only for educational purposes. As for the article's source, Plus 94 Research is a Gallup affiliate and must therefore be a reputable outfit. The country's leading newspaper would hardly publish a banner headline proclaiming Blacks are the biggest racists were Plus 94 a gimcrack outfit.

Such a finding, if not true, might upset South Africans unwilling to face hard facts uncovered by our fastest-growing market research company.

Let Plus 94 Research speak for itself. "Plus 94 Research is a marketing research company that is so unique in its thinking that it is set to change the services experience of clients from one of missed opportunities and goals into a rewarding business experience," it tells us. "Not only does the pleasure of dealing with Plus 94 stem from the fact that innovativeness is a tradition at the company, but also from the knowledge that the company is not bound by tradition itself."

Yeah, I noticed. No traditional, peer-reviewed or published report. Phoning 2,000 people and drawing a blanket conclusion is a sure break from tradition. But lest you have any doubts about such departures from so-called best practices, let me assure you I know class when I see it. A company linking "innovativeness" to "pleasure", while eschewing "tradition itself" epitomises innovation and is certain to "change the services experience of clients."

To what, I've no idea, but I'm always willing to learn.

"Plus 94 is a dynamic, authentic and intellectual organization that has achieved the most rapid growth in the history of market research in South Africa."

Question answered. I mean, are these people shit hot or not? How'd they grow so rapidly? "Innovativeness", that's what. The stamp of the dynamic intellectual.

Face it, people. This company's self-appraisal reeks of authenticity. In fact, it's so "authentic" I'm willing to bet it didn't hire an overpriced marketing company to set up its site. It probably had the tea boy do it after hours.

"The company prides itself in guaranteeing its customers a rock solid compliment of services delivered honestly and professionally. The key project management personnel consists of hand-picked individuals with outstanding personal track records ."

Nah...it must've been a professional outfit. See the subliminal shit. The mention of rocks and the space separating 'record' and the closing period? The last is to let the company's vision sink in. I sat back in Mama Africa's plastic chair and did just that.

Plus 94 is not only 'so unique'; it's 'savvy' too. A 'compliment of services' is bound to give customers exactly what they want or pay for.

"Plus 94 prides itself in having done and continuing to devise many successful business strategies for its key customers." Lot of pride there. Call on Plus 94 Research today and it'll do you immediately.


Crazed racist bastard...

The results showed that 38% of all respondents said they had experienced “discrimination” from people of all race groups in these institutions, and 45% claimed to have experienced discrimination particularly from black Africans.

Mama Africa was nodding off. I smacked the top of the cable drum. "Wake up, you racist bitch," I screamed. I am, after all, an African. "How can you be so fucking rude? You're a disgrace to your French ancestry."

Mama jerked awake. "I'm sorry, Mike, but this is all meaningless to me. If you ask me, you South Africans are all bat-shit crazy. Besides, the Sunday Times is a rag. I know nothing of this market research company and, frankly, couldn't care less about it or the report."

I was stunned. How the hell could she say that? The Sunday Times has always promoted itself as 'The Paper for the People'. It's proved itself a bastion of liberal democracy and is renowned for its scintillating journalism, hard-nosed editorials, and cutting-edge investigative reporting.

I was about to take up cudgels on behalf of our newspaper of national record when a couple of crazed blacks charged in. One of them grabbed me by my right arm.

"Come, come, you must leave now. There is danger. It is not good for you to be here."

And without as much as a 'By your leave', the demented bastards hustled me out of the container — leaving me barely enough time to gather my wallet, camera, and iPod from the table.

On my way in to work this morning, I kicked Lunga awake. He's a shiftless layabout who sleeps on the sidewalk across the road from my office. I keep telling him to get a job but, like all racists, he thinks he knows better.

"Hey, Lunga! You a black supremacist?"

"Get stuffed, you fuck-witted mlungu," he muttered, crawling back beneath the covers.

"Say no more, Lunga," I laughed, putting one in his ribs. "But let me tell you this. I know exactly where you're coming from, you racist pig."

The sentiment was most obvious in Durban and academic and activist Ashwin Desai said this was not surprising. "You tend to compare yourself with somebody across the road from you. Therefore the conflict between Africans and Indians happens ironically in places where they live next to each other," he said.

Sunday Times | Blacks are the biggest racists

Not the Sunday Times

Apparently we all have implicit racial prejudice, and not only that, we also harbour negative or positive feelings based on sexual preference, gender, age and other, usually non-determining factors. An Implicit Association Test, or IAT, gauges the relative ease with which participants are able to link certain groups of people, for example, gay people, and the concepts of "clean" and "soiled." Ease of association, determined by judgment speed, is considered evidence for an implicitly-held attitude toward that particular social group.

[...]

Folks who have implicit racial prejudices are left mentally tired after interacting with a person or people of a different race. Hidden racial bias makes them stupid. The study suggests that it may be because they're trying to quell their prejudice. Use the Harvard IAT to measure your own non-bias, or bias. Ponder this post, your score on the IAT and decide whether it all teaches us anything worthwhile about ourselves.

Rethabile Masilo | Racial bias makes you stupid

The truth is that humans and most other animals are conquerors. Dogs piss out a territory; humans kill or enslave those they find on a territory. Throughout their history, those humans with more advanced technology were able to travel wide, and wherever they did, they killed or conquered other humans they found there. It is amusing that as we plod onward as a species we’re only just beginning to realise the value of protecting other species. Protect and feed the panda, but expose and starve Darfur.

There are more genetic similarities between blacks and whites than among whites themselves. Black people in one part of the world differ with those in another part in a significant way. And that gap is wider than it is between blacks and whites. Simply put, the criteria that you, Mr and Ms Racist, usually refer to when you distinguish race, are but skin deep.

Rethabile Masilo | Dear Mr & Ms Racist

Now, had the Sunday Times carried the above two posts, it might have been well worth buying. The Harvard Implicit Association Test (Black-White IAT), by the way, tells me "Your data suggest a moderate automatic preference for White American compared to African American." Then again, I'm left-handed. See how you fare, read Rethabile's posts and, as he suggests, reflect on them.