"Shut the fuck up. It's for your own good."
Penguins are terrorists. They must be. They have their own Guantanamo Bay. It's at Boulders Beach, Simonstown, home to South Africa's largest naval base. Today, under cover of heavy cloud and pelting rain, McCracken McCracken and I visited Boulders to check out rumours that penguins are being shipped in as special renditions.
One look at this guy says that it doesn't matter how he got there. All that matters is that he gets out. Fast. They say they use the bracelets to shock the dumb birds, referred to as "Jackasses", into submission. It certainly looks that way. Look at him; standing in his own faeces.
It's further alleged that the infamous Robben Island is being used to house a so-called penguin 'colony'.
We used to do a lot of swimming at Boulders, and we often took the kids there. It's a beautiful place. Times have changed. It's now part of the Table Mountain National Park, is fenced off (to protect the penguins, of course), and tourists — I've never heard as many American accents, are charged ZAR20.00 a head to walk to the end of a boardwalk to look at the penguins.
There's always a way to make a fast buck. It's called globalization, you know. Or democracy. Or something... Either way, the Americans are involved.
The place was packed. Skirting the boundaries, we didn't go in. We've lost a beach and, besides, this little guy reminds me too much of the real thing.
