"All your base are belong to us."
The first thought that strikes me on coming across customized number plates is "Who the hell are these people?" The answer is seldom flattering and, this afternoon, on finding this meaningless expression of choice down at a shopping center across the tracks from me, I felt no reason to alter my conclusion.
(The WP denotes the province, by the way, and is mandatory.)
Probably some young, over-moneyed twenty-something kid with an imagination deficit driving a high-priced pocket rocket given him by Dad for his twenty-first birthday.
I reconsidered. Look, "UFO" is misleading, tempting one to leap to assumptions of New Age rituals, bookshelves lined with "esoterica", framed and autographed pictures of David Icke, and an unhealthy devotion to role-playing games.
It was the "HUGE" that got me to pondering the type of twisted mind that would stick something like this on his car. I'm aware of Huge Telecom, a sometime top-level IT company now falling off the JSE with our local economy.
Any connection would surely be coincidental. And the car much larger.
Unless of course, we also give the HUGE preceding UFO its obvious meaning. This car, if it belongs to somebody working for the company, means "HUGE UFO" makes several statements.
Given the company's market capitalization, it could have perhaps been a larger car, but isn't. Also, although a small car, it's large for a conventional UFO which, as we know, is an unidentified flying object. More, a UFO is what the car — when driven habitually at speed and without the identifying company name, becomes.
Although, paradoxically, the "HUGE" negates the essential nature of "UFO".
If a meteorite this size smacked into the Earth, we'd hear about it. And, in a sense, through the registration plate, we have. Owned by somebody employed by a listed company, the registration becomes a quirky statement on wealth, status, individuality, society, etc.
It's personal. Or is it? Does it say something of the company, i.e. "Where the hell are we going?", the owner, "This is Major Tom to Ground Control...", the car "I may not be bling but, as a 1.8, I really move", or a mix of the three?
With the economy in the toilet, and if it's a commentary on the company, Huge Telecom is being likened to something akin to a Scud missile — flying, its destination unknown, and its inevitable landing assumed to be like that of an astronomical garden feature landing in a suburban parking lot.
Combined, the three narratives — that of the company, the car, and the employee, reflect a mildly cynical, intellectual detachment. This would have to belong to somebody who really knows where he or she comes from or is going to.
Nah... To come up with that one, he or she would have to be a really clued, insightful thirty-something with a seriously warped sense of humor, an IT background, and a penchant for speed ...
Such people emigrated a while back.
I finished my smoke and gave up. If the owner is male, he might be talking about his dick for all I know.
I guess it's a case of back to "Who the hell are these people?"
Note: Yes, it's sad that I'd rather be reading number plates than watching the Dow skid down to 8,150 and the Citi implode. I know these things. Believe me.
Afterthought: Okay, now that the Dow's recovered to 8,200.22 -248.34 (-2.94%) — it's closed lower on five occasions this past year, I guess I can disclose that, when the above car pulled in, I was idling some time away chatting to Samuel, the Rwandese car guard, a refugee and alien of several years standing — literally and metaphorically.
I chat to many refugees and have much respect for the work done for them by people like Sam Pearce and Braam Hanekom. Samuel and I were trying to figure out why South Africa has so many refugees. Tens of thousands have jobs. Surely they qualify for temporary and, later, permanent residence status if they wish to stay and work here?
It seems they don't. Nor do their children born here. I'd like to know why.
And surely, if we gave incoming 'visitors' temporary residence permits — changed to refugee status only should they not find or generate work, we'd drastically reduce our burgeoning 'refugee problem'?
